The journey

So I was a little naive when I first started on my journey to health, life and happiness. I thought, “Oh, it’ll only take a month or two and I’ll be fit, healthy, and at peace!”. Boy, was I wrong about that. The day I decided to look after my “home” or “temple”, as some who are completely at peace with themselves will call the body, was the day my naivety regarding weight loss and health began. That day was two years ago. The summer of 2011.

“I want to shape up for summer,” was the thought that first inspired my visit to the dietitian. I made an appointment at the dietitian clinic 20 minutes walk away from our house. I thought I’d better get a bit of exercise in before my first weigh-in. I hadn’t weighed myself in months. But I thought I’d better be on the safe side and burn off a few calories before my shame would be revealed. I now know that walk would have made absolutely no difference what-so-ever, but at least the thought was there. In January of 2011 I weighed in at 65 kilograms (that’s 143 pounds), the optimum weight for my height, age group, and gender. The number that would be revealed in a few moments would shock me.

That day, in June of 2011, I weighed in at 73 kilograms (or 160 pounds). I was stunned. Shocked into action. That was it, I thought, I was going to do something about this before it was too late and I became an obese diabetic. Okay, so I had a slight overreaction. Christine (my dietitian) told me that my ideal weight was 65 kilograms (my BMI, that is) and started me on a meal plan. I asked her what time I could expect to lose the weight by. She told me that it wasn’t really that simple, but that I’d probably be around that mark by Christmas. Let me tell you, I’m still not there yet.

Now, at first I thought I was a failure. I kept giving in to “special” occasions and telling myself “just this once”. In that way I didn’t exactly stick to the meal plan. Christine didn’t seem at all surprised by this. She just kept supporting me and gradually tailored my meal plan as I improved. I didn’t lose any weight though. Not even a kilogram. I felt like a complete idiot. I mean, if I couldn’t even control my own weight, what could I control? Would I forever be battling with this? I had never had a problem before.

I began to realise that this “losing weight” thing was going to take a little longer than expected. A lot longer actually. Too long really. I’m still battling with it. Two years on and it’s still my inner demon. The lies I tell myself are ridiculous. I just can’t seem to resist. Slowly, however … ever so slowly, I have lost weight. I now weigh in at 69 kilograms (152 pounds) and I’m really proud of my achievement. I realise it’s taken me an obscene amount of time, but at least I’ve done it. I didn’t give up. I battled on through the difficulties, obstacles, and tears.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, losing weight or doing anything worth doing takes time. Great things don’t happen overnight. A lot of work has to go into your dreams. And your heart has to be in it, or it will all implode and you will revert back to old ways. If you really want it, you can have it. It just takes patience. And support. But even if all the odds are against you, it can be done. You just have to be prepared to work at it. And when I say work, I mean, really work. Harder than you ever have before. For some people, weight loss is easy. I was under the misconception that this was the case for all. How wrong was I?

Remember, as corny as it sounds, it is all about the journey. Sure, the destination’s great too, but the journey is where you discover the real gems. I have learned so much about myself in the past two years that I’m actually glad I gained the weight in the first place. Before that, I never really pushed myself to the limit. I stayed in a little comfort bubble and let others do the hard yards. But now I know what I can do, and it feels great. Sure, I’m not there yet and I cave in to temptation far too often, but I am getting there.

You will too.

A x

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One thought on “The journey

  1. Pingback: Inspired | 50 Things Before I Turn 50

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